It’s been wonderful seeing the gracious support from my dharma friends of my genuine drive forward with the Dharma and with this crazy, mystical, mysterious dance with the universe that we call life.
At a certain point dharma practice moves beyond the personal I, beyond using the arbitrary distinction of “this being” as a basis for experiential understanding. Moving beyond the personal “I” allows a person sense the totality- the holistic picture all around them and it’s easy to see oneself as a self-less movement of energy in the universe. This is a felt experience of the Bodhisattva who understands emptiness.
Beyond a certain point, the personal basis of the three poisons- greed, hatred, aversion – is not a useful basis anymore, and is really just a residual conditioned pattern of mind that tries to create a good evil and an opponent, or an adversary. It is wrong to assign this basis to a person, rather, a more useful framing is as simple process of energetic dissipation. The energy seems to have a natural tendency to seek out what was formerly called “delusion” or “unskillfulness” or “crudeness” – wherever it may be found- and dissipate the energy to balance the two energetic states. This is inherently draining for the Bodhisattva, and that is why a Bodhisattva practices himself- to gather the energy for its subsequent use and release.
Action seems to be motivated more by a process of the common good- how can I utilize and direct the remaining life force of this being to be a light in the universe, spread the energy outward. To even say that there is delusion and there is understanding is really just a convention based on the persistent perceptual basis of “me”, and the basis that delusion is inherently bad and understanding is inherently good. They are both simply energetic states contained conventionally within the container of the personal I. But with a self-less perspective, these two energetic states can be seen to be interacting and exchanging energy. It is a perceptual distortion to think that delusion is a characteristic of a person, just as it is a distortion to think that understanding exists inside a person as a permanent trait.
So the personal basis upon which we habitually assign states of being has to be let go of and instead wherever understanding exists, to cultivate, protect, and properly utilize understanding for the “Divine” use of such energy. This is exactly how it feels on a basic level. The dissipation of energy seems similar to the law of thermodynamics that tends toward more disorder – where the universe inevitably tend toward full understanding.
Along the way there can be odd manifestations of the energy- which can be quite dubious from one perspective. These energetic vacuums, if you will, that draw energy of awareness toward them- this happens on a personal level and on a collective level. There can be a collective pressuring from parts of the whole to lower-energy regions of the whole – to become more aware- to acquire energy.
The curse, and the work of the meditator, is really the involuntary, non-personal drive to seek out the energetic vacuums and attempt to spread energy where energy is needed. There seems to be friction and heat generated at times, as the energy of being is transferred and exchanged. The reason a clear knowledge of emptiness is necessary for the meditator, is that they often become the target of the ugly sides of human behavior- and if they get personally wrapped up in taking sides and imposing a right or wrong on a person or group, they lose their effectiveness.
The best energetic dispersion happens from a state I have heard called “the natural state” – where the energy is properly charged and ready for use. The meditator must therefore continue to practice and recharge this energetic state from time to time. Often, emotions of envy, contempt, anger, and bitterness are actually directed straight at the meditator and this is simply a non-personal process like any else. There is no personal I in the process, so the Bodhisattva can respond in the most appropriate way for everyone, with the entire holistic picture in mind- both themselves, the people around them, and the biological container of these poisonous relational patterns. This often, quite disturbingly, involves silence and a lack of reactivity in the face of the people who attempt to discredit us.
I am beginning to understand this on a moment-by moment level, and it’s challenging but very fruitful for my own practice and developing my skills. I feel grateful and reverent for the people who direct hatred and envy toward me- mostly in subtle, passively aggressive ways. They are my students, and I bow down and kiss their feet with the clear light of compassion, completely devoid of the personal self. As they are my students, the act of prostrating in front of our “oppressors” and feeling only empty compassion for them is the real goal and practice of the meditator. The SigmaTropic system develops visualization and prostration techniques so we can bring this sentiment to life. These self- removing practices remove any subtle clingings to self and allow a Bodhisattva to function most effectively for the greatest good.
Being a Bodhisattva involves increasingly supramundane skills in teaching the dharma to other beings, as this is the path to Buddhahood and the I am deeply grateful for your attention and support, and I am determined to help people find the dharma in any way I can. The lesson I am learning lately is to take these resistances and impedances as learning experiences.
I am utterly secure and confident in the dharma that I teach. I require no religious or buddhist authority whatsoever to bring my teachings to the people. I am aware of my own intentions and those intentions are pure. Any attacks or slander I may encounter is inconsequential. I have given up attachment to any kind of identity role, and I only teach a method that I invented for people to end suffering and live well.